Love as a Practice: Secret Gestures That Build Authentic Relationships
In a week filled with red ribbons, heart-shaped chocolates, and grand expectations, it's easy to become cynical. However, beneath the commercial layer lies something incomparably important: the question of what love really is and how far its manifestation reaches. Underneath those external symbols lies a deeper challenge -- how our limited, self-referential consciousness shapes our understanding of love.
The Limits of Our Consciousness: How We Perceive Love
The main problem with consciousness is that it only knows itself -- and in an unclear way. We can only overcome this limitation through constant awareness. We often forget how difficult -- almost impossible -- it is to understand what it's like to be someone else. It's not easy for us to accept that every other consciousness functions like its own operating system, driven by different needs, reactions, and life experiences.
That's why the Golden Rule, which assumes that others want the same things we do, may be the most narcissistic of our moral codes.
Love as a Reflection of Others' Needs
One of the greatest measures of love is the realization that the needs of others, no matter how incomprehensible or distant from our own they may seem, are an integral part of their identity, and to love someone means to love what they need to become their true self, not a projection of our desires.
If we truly want to show love this month, we need to focus on trying to provide it in a way that preserves the uniqueness of the other person in the relationship. True love doesn't seek comfort or alignment, but rather acceptance of who someone really is -- a special and unique individual.
We can't achieve this without first learning to love and accept ourselves: our brave and vulnerable selves.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment," wrote E.E. Cummings
Self-Acceptance: The Foundation of True Love
True love is a practice, a choice, a way of existing in the universe. And it's not reserved only for romantic relationships.
Love appears in the way we talk to ourselves, in our relationships with family and friends, in the silence we share with loved ones, in how we care for our body and mind.
It is reflected in the inner monologue that accompanies us throughout the day. Are we harsh judges of ourselves or gentle allies? Do we allow ourselves to rest without guilt, or do we punish ourselves with endless to-do lists? Self-love doesn't mean an absence of self-criticism, but rather understanding that our mind is not a battleground, but a space where we spend a large part of our lives.
In family and friend relationships, love is often not spectacular -- it is reflected in messages that ask for nothing more than a sincere 'How are you?', in the way we read between the lines, in recognizing someone's exhaustion before it's spoken, in the silence that is not discomfort, but a space of togetherness, of presence without the need to fill the void with words.
And then there's the body -- the one we carry our whole life, but often treat as an enemy. Do we learn to listen to it? Do we give it movement when it needs it, sleep when it asks for it, food that nourishes it? Caring for the body is not just a matter of health -- it's a way of thanking it for guiding us through the world.
Love doesn't happen in grand declarations, but in the repetition of small, everyday rituals. It's not just in moments when it's easy to be gentle, but also in those when we'd rather turn our backs on ourselves, others, and our own fatigue. Because true love, in any form, is not just a feeling -- it's a practice.
Yet, words are powerful. They create new worlds within us, change the way we perceive ourselves and others, and leave traces deeper than any gift.
Before we ask ourselves what we'll give for Valentine's Day, perhaps it's best to remember that words can be the greatest gift. So let's highlight a few simple, but incredibly powerful sentences that you can give to yourself and others -- not just on Valentine's Day, but every day.
"Take your time, don't rush."
Love is not only reflected in what we do, but in the attention we give to each shared moment. When you tell someone "Take your time," you're conveying that the true value of the encounter lies in simply existing and in the silence that arises when we free ourselves from constant hurry. In that pause, in the freedom to not always be somewhere else, love becomes deeper and more authentic. It's not just a call to slow down the pace, but also a way to connect more deeply -- with others, with ourselves, or to allow someone to devote themselves to themselves for a moment.
I love when we're silent together
In silence, words lose their purpose, and we surrender to the unspoken feeling of existence. Without filling the voids, in that closeness we find serenity -- it's a place where our hearts talk quietly, without the need for explanations. In that unobtrusive togetherness, our worlds merge in a way that cannot be expressed in words, only felt. That is love that is not measured by gestures, but by silence.
I simply can't make this decision without you
There's a special warmth when someone loves us, but also invites us to be companions in moments of indecision or big decisions. That honest, almost vulnerable need is not just seeking advice, but an open admission of deep trust -- that most intimate, brightest human emotion. In that shared uncertainty, where our personal vulnerability intertwines with collective strength, we realize that no decision is too big when we make it together.
Would you like us to exercise together?
Workouts are easier in pairs -- together we grow and overcome obstacles. Joint exercise turns routine into an opportunity for genuine connection and mutual support. Each shared movement brings strength that makes us stronger, and each challenge is easier to overcome. Those workouts are not just about physical activity, but about shared time in which we both travel towards a better self.
You make me feel happy
Most of us write these love messages at regular intervals, but we rarely say them out loud because they sound cliché, maybe we don't know the person well enough, or we grew up among people who would rather shake hands than offer hugs. It's interesting that when we say these supposedly exaggerated words to people, they don't react nervously or run away -- they might just smile, broadly or subtly. Just say what you'd like to hear too - and if it's too funny or awkward for you, send a message.
You already are the person you want to become
These words remind us that we don't need to wait for the future to recognize our worth -- it's already present, deep within us. When we say them, we free the listener from the shackles of doubt and insecurity, and encourage them to turn to their own authenticity. In those moments, we realize that true change begins with accepting what we already are, not in a constant struggle to improve ourselves.
Rest. I'll do it.
Two simple words, but sometimes they represent true liberation -- a gesture of selfless care. Each of us needs rest, and it's even more precious when someone recognizes that need and gives us that precious moment of respite. Whether it's quietly sipping a cup of tea or relaxing with a favorite show, rest becomes the ultimate expression of love -- a confirmation that caring for ourselves and others is not a luxury, but a fundamental need in our daily lives.
The Authenticity of Giving
Each of us has a unique love language -- whether through quality time spent, words of affirmation, physical touch, carefully chosen gifts or acts of service -- and it's understanding these differences that makes our relationships authentic and deeper.
Giving, like communication, is not just a reflection of our own desires, but a conscious act of expressing love and respect for what the other person truly needs.
When we choose gifts or select ways to express love, we need to focus on what will truly touch the heart of the person we're addressing. It may sound abstract and impractical, but if it's really about love, when you pause and start observing - the answer to what your loved ones need will simply appear.
We wish you magical moments this month that will turn into beautiful memories and further strengthen your relationships.
