What We Want for Ourselves: A Christmas That Makes Sense
Somewhere in mid-December, when cities light up and calendars start bursting under the weight of events, there's a collective illusion that everything is under control. Houses smell of baked cookies, Christmas advertisements convince us that love lies in perfectly chosen gifts, and social media serves up images of the "real" holiday spirit -- one that's flawlessly planned and seemingly stress-free. But reality? Reality is far different.
Instead of peace, we find exhaustion. Instead of joy, we pile up obligations. And while we chase an ideal that's hard to reach, it becomes clear that we rarely stop and ask ourselves: What do we actually want from this Christmas? Because beneath the glitter, gifts, and false harmony, the answer is simple -- we want something that will fulfill us, not drain us. We want a Christmas that makes sense.
What Do I Want from This Christmas?
Not what advertisements say we need. Not what our family expects. Not what society calls a "proper Christmas". What truly, without filters, without obligations, nourishes our soul? Because while we rush through the holidays in search of perfection, we often forget that true magic lies in those quiet moments when everything falls silent.
What actually nourishes our soul? Is it silence, closeness, or perhaps the feeling that we've finally stopped and felt -- life, ourselves, others?
Christmas of Connection: People at the Center of Everything
For those who believe Christmas is about people, relationships, and connection, the idea of perfect holidays doesn't lie in gifts, glittering trees, or complex recipes. It lies in feeling the closeness of those who make us complete. In a world where time is luxury, Christmas is an opportunity to pause and say: "I'm here for you."
But What When That Connection Drains Us?
How many times have you organized gatherings, invited people, listened to endless stories over coffee -- and afterward felt as if you left a part of yourself at the table? The problem with Christmas dedicated to others is that we easily forget ourselves. What needs to be remembered is: you can't be "there for others" if you're not "there for yourself".
If you choose a Christmas of connection, remember: less is more. You don't need to gather everyone. Sometimes a conversation with one person, a walk with someone special, or even a phone call is enough. Connection isn't measured by the number of people, but by the depth of moments.
Connection isn't just physical presence; it's the moment when eyes meet, when you listen to someone without interrupting, and when you feel understood. Our soul is nourished when someone sees, hears, and feels us -- without judgment and without expectations.
And, most importantly, don't forget to connect with yourself. Because without that connection, no Christmas will make sense.
Peaceful Christmas: Defying Chaos
For some of us, the idea of a peaceful Christmas sounds like utopia. The holidays are just another task on an already overcrowded schedule. Cooking, baking, organizing -- all of it requires strength we already lack. If you recognize yourself in this description, perhaps it's time to reconsider the whole concept. Maybe a peaceful Christmas isn't just an option, but a necessity.
To ensure a quiet and peaceful Christmas, you first need to learn one key skill: saying "no". No to everything that burdens you.
No even to some things you would normally love but don't have the energy for now. Mark in your calendar days that are yours alone. An casual walk through a winter park. An hour of reading under a blanket. A break from social media. A peaceful Christmas isn't an escape from reality; it's a return to yourself.
Others might comment on your choice. Some might be disappointed. But you will, finally, feel peace. And isn't that what we all actually want -- silence in a world that's constantly too loud?
Silence nourishes the soul because it returns us to ourselves. In a world of noise, it's a rare opportunity to rely on our own rhythm. In that silence comes clarity -- what we love, what we fear, and what truly fulfills us. These are moments where inner peace is born.
Traditional Christmas: Return to Old Values
If you're one of those who love the idea of tradition but feel suffocated by consumerism, your ideal Christmas might lie in the simplicity of past times. Do you dream of evenings with board games, the smell of homemade cookies, and rituals that remind you of childhood? The problem arises when the feeling of nostalgia fails to survive the pressure of reality.
For such a Christmas, you need to set boundaries -- towards the world, but also towards yourself. Gift shopping that doesn't lead to debt? Agree with everyone in the family to exchange only small items or handmade gifts. This isn't disrespecting tradition; it's an attempt to preserve it in a world that has turned it into an empty spectacle.
A traditional Christmas doesn't have to be a return to the past, but rather a return to the feeling that past carries.
If for you the center of tradition is evening walks, decorating the tree together, or conversations over tea, focus on that. Do what makes sense for you -- not what others expect.
Adult Christmas: Redefining Relationships
Holidays often return us to childhood -- to our parents' homes, to rooms that are no longer ours, to dynamics that take us back decades. For some of us, this is comfortable. But for others, returning to the past can be claustrophobic.
If you feel trapped by old rules and expectations, maybe it's time to redefine Christmas. Suggest something new -- traveling to an unknown place, Christmas with friends instead of family, or organizing the holidays in your own home, by your own rules. Change doesn't mean rejection. Change is a sign that you're growing.
However, change isn't always easily accepted. It's important to be honest -- with yourself and others. Communicate your wishes, but remain open to compromises. An adult Christmas doesn't mean breaking with tradition, but adaptation -- so that holidays reflect who you are today, not who you were.
Change doesn't always require a drastic decision. Sometimes adding a new ritual is enough -- an afternoon walk, a joint visit to an exhibition. When you become part of the process of creating a new Christmas, you'll free yourself from the burden of nostalgia and find joy in the present.
Introspective Christmas: Time for Reflection
For those feeling lost, without clarity about what they want, Christmas can become a time of introspection. Instead of trying to fulfill others' expectations, turn inward. What brings me joy? What suffocates me? What would I like to change?
The holidays are an ideal time for setting intentions. Not because of the New Year, but because of the sense of new beginning that Christmas carries. This isn't an ending, but preparation for what's coming.
Which Christmas Suits Me?
Whatever Christmas you choose, the key is that it's yours. Holidays are a rare opportunity to stop, think, and feel. This isn't a time for compromises that empty you, nor for traditions you've outgrown. Christmas is a mirror of your soul. If you feel exhausted, something isn't right. If you feel peace, you're on the right path.
Our soul isn't nourished by perfection, but by honesty. It doesn't matter where you spend Christmas, who you're with, or how many gifts are under the tree. What matters is whether you feel like yourself, that you love and are loved. That's the only real gift you can give yourself and others this Christmas.
This year, while sitting by the tree, perhaps with tea in hand, ask yourself: Which type of Christmas will nourish my soul? The answer to that question will be the best gift you've ever given -- to yourself and everyone around you.
